The FOYO Journey Begins: A Personal Testimony

God, as always, has been gracious, kind, and loving towards me and my family, and I consider myself victorious, giving Him the glory. However, to achieve victories, one must first overcome life's obstacles. I recall someone saying that life is not always sunshine and rainbows, it is hard. No truer words have ever been spoken.

In 2012, I found myself at a crossroads, shaped by years of challenges that had taken their toll on me. With two young children—a daughter of eight and a son of four—I had been married for 19 years and had faced many trials. Some of the most difficult experiences included the physical and emotional strains of infertility treatments and enduring two miscarriages at around 16 weeks. These experiences led to scrutiny and judgment from others, who criticized my decision to pursue infertility treatments over adoption. What they didn't know was that I had explored adoption, only for the mother to change her mind.

I wasn't angry but genuinely happy for her decision and offered my support if she needed it. I also tried foster care with hopes of adopting, only to be turned down by the agency due to six points on my driver’s license. My husband and I were perplexed, not understanding how this could be the obstacle when we were good citizens, had stable jobs, a wonderful home, and so much love to offer. It seemed it just wasn't in God’s plan.

Moreover, I turned down a dream job offer to support my husband’s career. As I debated accepting the position, I faced criticism rooted in outdated beliefs that a woman should sacrifice everything for her spouse and family. Societal expectations, especially from the older generation, only added to the pressure, reinforcing traditional roles that left me feeling undervalued. I made the sacrifice, but it left me feeling unfulfilled, stuck in a job just for a paycheck. My sacrifices were not fully understood by my family, nor could they grasp what it meant to me. I felt like a watered-down version of myself. My soul felt troubled as I struggled to find the path God intended for me, leaving me restless and unfulfilled.

As a result, I poured everything into my family, leaving little time for friendships or personal growth, becoming somewhat of a recluse. And, there were other challenges. On one hand, I had many happy moments and enjoyed my family immensely but at the same time, I was dying inside—an empty shell. It’s funny how you can feel two opposite emotions at once. I reached a breaking point, vividly recalling retreating to my bedroom, overwhelmed with tears, feeling unseen and unheard.

In that moment of despair, I sought solace in prayer, asking God about my purpose. “Lord, what should I do?” The response was clear and transformative: “Get up, dry your eyes. I want you to Focus On You, okay!” This divine message inspired a poem that flowed effortlessly, serving as a catalyst for change. I began prioritizing myself, reclaiming my life, and setting boundaries. I embraced my own needs, realizing that neglecting myself wasn't an option anymore. I wasn’t popular for a few months, but eventually, everyone saw there was more to me than being a wife and mother—she was her own person with much to offer the world. I wasn’t saying I would never sacrifice when necessary. I wasn’t saying I would neglect my family and others, but I sure wasn’t neglecting myself anymore.

As I shared my story, I discovered that countless other women felt similarly lost and drained. This revelation led to the birth of FOYO, LLC—Focus On You, Okay!—a platform empowering women to prioritize their well-being without guilt. The message of FOYO is simple yet profound: we must dream and follow the path set out for us, enjoy life, cherish friendships, and care for ourselves in every aspect—spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and physically.

Through FOYO, I aim to instill these values in both young women and seasoned adults. As an ambassador, I share insights from various perspectives:

·      Biblical Perspectives: Aligning self-care with spiritual teachings.

·      Self-Discovery: Understanding the power we possess and pursuing joy.

·      Mindfulness: Being present to reduce stress and foster gratitude.

·      Setting Boundaries: Saying no and prioritizing oneself without guilt.

·      Nurturing Passions: Reconnecting with hobbies and dreams.

I have connected with many women through speaking engagements in different business settings; small group and individual sessions; and spiritual platforms to empower adults and young people to never give up, move forward, find ways to enjoy life, and keep the faith in God. Since reclaiming “me” and trusting in God’s delivering power, I have found joy and pursue my dreams—without guilt. I love my family and will do anything for them, but I’m also taking care of myself, and I encourage everyone to do the same.

As my husband and I have grown over the years, he understands the sacrifices I have made and actively encourages me to prioritize self-care. He has also made his own sacrifices, and I support him in doing the same. I instill the spirit of FOYO in my children. To truly become our best selves, we need to reflect inward, nurture our God-given talents, and engage in activities we love—sometimes together and other times individually. We are both valuable and have purpose.

If you trust God, you can find joy and peace even in the midst of chaos. I continue to focus on me, and I want you to do the same. It’s time to Focus On You, Okay!